I took seven years...

Remember the story I told you about Laura? You probably don't remember her name, but it was the girl that I might have gotten pregnant. The single question mark about my past that I had lingering in my head. Well, I spoke to her today. Crazy right? I knew her brother Brian lived in NY because I had seen him randomly on the train and we exchanged numbers. One day I made the decision to get her number from him. So I invited him out to get drinks at a local bar in Ft. Greene. Brian's a real cool dude by the way. But on to the answer to the million-dollar question...

I don't have a child.

Wow. I'm not sure if I can fully explain the way that I feel right now. Its weird sometimes when you achieve something that you thought about. Shit its weird most times. Often because its never the way you picture it. But sometimes the surprise stems from knowing that you were the only real obstacle to the achievement. The reality is that I was scared to know. In the beginning of our conversation, Laura was expounding on the number of places she moved between Pittsburgh and Virginia where she now lives. "I moved to _________ for 1.5 years, and __________ for 2 years..." After a while I asked "Wait... how long has it been since CMU?!"

"7 years..."

And I thought to myself "You would have a seven year old child right now." or even crazier still, "it took you 7 years to take responsibility for your life."

Not even...

"I took you seven years to satisfy your curiosity. "

Fear is an extreme and dangerous thing.